There are some things about myself I can't explain to anyone. There are some things I don't understand at all. I can't tell what I think about things or what I am after. I don't know what my strengths are or what I am suppose to do about them. But if I start thinking about these things in too much detail the whole thing gets scary. It jumbles up in my head and things get cluttered. I can't explain what is going on in my head, but if I could it would be like a mixing bowl of paints, all different colors.

My Bridge

     You know how when you are in a car and it is pouring down rain, you go under a bridge and everything stops. Everything goes silent and it is almost peaceful. The you finally get out from under the bridge, and everything hits you a little harder that before.

You are my bridge.

     You shield me from the pounding of the rain. You are the peace in my world and my rock that protects me.

     You make me happy when you ask if I want to go to P.F. Changs because you know my answer. When you laugh and it's so contagious. When you trick me and get my hopes down and the surprise me. When we can watch movies for hours. When we proud of each other. When you lock me in a dark room and tell me there are demons coming to get me. When you accept my weird habits and quirks. When you surprise me with Red Velvet cake, my favorite! When you surprise me at airports! When you hold me when I'm upset. When you are basically part of the family.

     I love you for all that you were, all that you are, and all that you are yet to be. You are my bridge. My silent, peaceful protecting bridge, and I love you everyday for being that for me. You are with me through thick and thin, and I don't think lately I haven't told you exactly how much you fill my heart with love. You keep my feet on the ground and my head out of the clouds. I couldn't imagine not having someone like you in my life. I am thankful for you everyday I wake up!

You are without a doubt my best friend, my rock, my bridge.

Photographers for Moon Taxi one night.

     

All The Same Humans

     "Admit it. Your aren't like them. You are not even close. You may occasionally dress yourself up as one of them, watch the same mindless television shows as they do, maybe eat the same fast foods. But it seems the more you try to fit in, the more you feel like an outsider, watching the "normal people" as they go about their automatic exsistances. For every time you say everyday phrases like "Have a nice day" and Weather's awful today, eh?", you yearn inside to say forbidden things like "Tell me something you've never told anyone else" or "What makes you upset?". Face it, you even want to talk to that girl in the elevator. But what if that girl in the elevator is thinking the same thing? Who knows what you might learn from taking a chance on conversation with a stranger? Everyone carries a piece of the puzzle. Nobody comes into your life by mere coincidence. Trust your instincts. Do the unexpected. Find the other."

-Timothy Leary

Some of the friends I made when I went to Europe in the London Eye.

     I absolutely love that quote! It to me, means that we try to wear and do the same thing just so we can fit in with the people we want to. We do this to try to make a typical conversation with people but what we really want to ask them what deep down in their heart. We want to know their quirks and crannies. But the problem is we just don't have the confidence. Confidence is important to have in this world we live in today! You need it to get jobs and opportunities, it helps when you are acting something out or presenting something in front of an audience. You could say confidence is the key to success. You need confidence to talk to that girl in the elevator, to make a new friend, who maybe wants to talk to you too! If you never take that chance, you may never know the outcome. So why not right? You have nothing to loose.
     We are not so different from the person stand next to you in the elevator, or walking past you on the street, we are not so different from those runway models, or superstars. We are all the same humans, just raised from different environments, brought up with different beliefs and mindsets. , and we all have those awkward moments, and those bad hair days, just be real with yourself and others and they will find that unique.
Everyone is the same on the inside
     If there is anything I have learned, it is that if you want to talk to someone, talk to them. Go out on a limb. Do not wait for them to talk first because, odds are they are waiting for that same thing.

"I like living. I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow; but through it all I know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing."

-Agatha Christie

Deepest Emotion

     When you hear the word "struggle" you just assume that it is associated with bad things. In a way it is, but in other ways it is not always that bad.
     "After struggling to meet his bench goal, Thomas achieved it today." Most people would assume in that the boy in sentence that he would be struggling physically to meet his bench goal. But he can also be struggling mentally too.
     Struggle- coping with the inability to perform well or how you want to, to advance with violent effort. Struggle or to battle, work, or hassle.
     Thomas could struggle with getting his arms up again after coming down, but he could also struggle with the pressure to meet his goal and all of his friends making fun of him because he hasn't yet and they have.

The younger you would hate to see those tears.

     My point with the whole Thomas thing is that you can only see the outside of a person, that's it. You don't see what is going on in their head and you can't hear what they are thinking. You can look at a girl in class and think she has the perfect family, the perfect boyfriend, and the perfect life, but that may not be the case. Maybe her parents lost their jobs, her boyfriend beats her, and her friends talk behind her back. All you see is the outside, the mask she puts on to hide the struggles that are going on in her life.
     The mind is a dangerous thing. We all overthink somethings and we cook up some crazy scenarios, that end up to be nothing like we thought. The mind is where you hold back all of the crazy things and emotions going on in your life. It is also horribly cruel, it tells you not let anyone in, don't let anyone know about this great, strong emotion you are feeling, they don't want to hear it. So you don't say anything and go you on with life normally, but the thing is, you don't feel normal inside. The mind is where struggles are the hardest to endure, because you think and think and think. You sit there and just sike yourself out. Everything eventually builds, and becomes too much pressure, and just like a bomb your thoughts explode on your face as water droplets.
     As your bomb resides on your puffy cheeks your head and all the pressure in there slowly disperses out. Your mindset changes a little bit and you become clear minded. You make a decision on what you will do next, even if it's just getting through the next day. Your pressure made you emotional unstable but the bomb taught you something about what you actually want to do with the situation. That decision you make to keep moving forward through more struggles to overcome and endure physically and mentally, can either make you better or break you down more. It gets better with every moment, without any sort of explaination. You wake up one morning and suddenly you just arent as upset anymore. A struggle is a not always a bad thing, it only makes you stronger. Your struggle can be overcome, you have a strong body and mind to pick yourself up after the aftermath of the bomb. Every once in awhile our eyes need to be washed with tears, so we  can see life with a clearer view again.

10 Things To Be Happy About

1. Hundreds of Pretty Flowers
2. Rain When You're Sleeping
3. No Homework Nights
4. Forehead Kisses
5. A Home
6. Opportunities
7. Photographs
8. Pizza
9. Fresh Cut Grass
10. Your Talents

The Lady

A lady once said to me, "Life is not meant to be easy. It's like you are running track and it is one hurdle after another, it's just all about how you get over them."

     

     That, in my eyes, is so unbelievably true! Life was not designed to to be simple or straightforward in anyway, it is constant change and obstacles, constantly fighting with your emotions or jumping through hoops to get what you need. It will be amazing and it will be horrible, but life is truly designed to be, is LIVED, to endure the long nights with your head spinning, but also to take those once in a lifetime opportunities, that is to live your life. The up and downs are only making you strong. Every hurdle you overcome is only getting you that much closer to your goal. 

"You may not end up where you thought you were going, but you will always end up where you're meant to be."

    This is how I see life as a metaphor: Life is like a poker game that you are dealt. I includes skill and luck. You bet, check, bluff, and raise. You learn from those you play with. Sometimes you win with a pair or lose with a full house. Whatever happens, it is best to keep shuffling along.

     That lady sitting there saying this to me, she had an extraordinary outlook on life. I wish you could listen to our conversation. Its a hard balancing act, but it is all about your attitude towards it. Go, jump over those obstacles and win that poker game. LIVE the life you have been dealt.