There are some things about myself I can't explain to anyone. There are some things I don't understand at all. I can't tell what I think about things or what I am after. I don't know what my strengths are or what I am suppose to do about them. But if I start thinking about these things in too much detail the whole thing gets scary. It jumbles up in my head and things get cluttered. I can't explain what is going on in my head, but if I could it would be like a mixing bowl of paints, all different colors.