The past few months the most common thing people say to me is "It doesn't ever get better, it just gets easier."
I'm sitting here in bed with a big t-shirt and sweatpants with tall socks on, curled up next to me is my dog Jess snoring her brains out. Outside my dark cave I hear the dryer, drying clothes and the neighbor working on his car. My brother is off at school and I'm just here. "Just here" is where I'm always at.To be honest it is a little lonely at times. If I'm not working I'm here, cleaning, doing laundry and dishes. I'm here. In my cozy nook in the corner of the house with my tie blanket and Jess. It's a famous trio now. Just here eating my daily salads and ramen, watching Netflix and thinking off all the things I need to do around the house. And sometimes... it gets to me. I'm here, by myself, doing things my mom would laugh if I even thought about doing them. Laundry, never heard of. The dishes, don't even think about them.
But when loneliness is filling my head, I get a slight thought of optimism. Then I get the big picture again. Its the little things that should keep me going. The calls telling me to wake up and get out of bed to go swimming, the date nights, the work crew, the kick backs, and the bonfires. The fact that Jess' love is never ending. The random calls from Jackie and the texts from Patsy. The sunflowers off the side of the road and the fresh produce at farmers markets. The neighbors who mow my lawn and the lady who cuts my hair. Nyla who comes to see me at work and the endless smiles Dalton gives me.
Its then, I think about all those little things and so many more, I don't feel as lonely. Its when I think about the little things, it gets a little easier to be by myself for once. When I'm not so worried about someone touching mom's makeup or toothbrush. When I'm not worried about doing the dishes or laundry. When I am myself. The little things in the world make life a little more bearable. Its the little things. That's the key.
