To be completely honest, sometimes life just sucks.
Sometimes we don't know if we can make it through. Sometimes we don't know where we are headed or the "why" behind our circumstances. Sometimes our hearts break. Sometimes we lose people we love and our worlds are left in pieces. Sometimes we feel helpless. Sometimes we are scared. Sometimes we don't want to open our eyes when we hear that alarm clock in the morning.
But today... I opened my eyes. I got out of bed and stepped into the wild, vicious world. Today I took a deep breath and believed I could make it through the day. And I am going to be honest, it was hard. Moving forward is hard. Growing up so fast at such a young age is hard. Being responsible for more than just myself is hard. Just being human is hard. Life is simply hard.
My world stopped, and while I see the world continues to turn quite normally for everyone else, mine is entirely wrong. My pretty, pretty princess breakfasts are no longer a thing, the house feels empty, and instead of worrying about school, I'm worried about a death certificate or a lawyer.
One more struggle. One more loss. One more thing I have to carry on my shoulders. Life seems like a mess of puzzle pieces, without a picture, that doesn't seem to fit together. It is more than just "frustrating".
Countless times I am reminded that I have so many people around me, that love and care about me, but it's hard not to feel alone.
As each day passes it become less heart breaking and more bearable. And I know eventually I will be able to get through a day without tearing myself apart. I know this will pass and it all will be okay again. But that time has not come.
Sometimes life just sucks.
