Drowning in Thoughts

     Sometimes my mind is cluttered with a lot of thoughts. I think about everything, everyone, and about myself. I think about the past, the present, and about the future way too much. I think about scenarios that could've happened if I kept my lips shut, or if I was brave enough and didn't care about anyone's discouraging opinions. I have a terrible habit of jumping into an ocean of asphyxiating thoughts, and you would thinks someone else is drowning me, but the truth is I'm drown myself because I don't know how to be happy with myself, or anything that is happening in this moment of my life.
     My mind is filled with thoughts about "what's going to happen if...". I'm gasping for just an instant of calm waters. Oxygen is lacking not in my lungs but in my thoughts, it feels like smoke is filling my head, pressure building. This moment is messy like a child with paints. I can't make out what is drawn for me here. Too much to comprehend, too much to take in. Gasping for air, my brain is overloaded. I think a lot of thoughts...