18 Years Down...

     For me growing up is probably the biggest adventure anyone could ever have.

In my 18 years of life I have done some very crazy things. I have traveled to Ireland, Scotland, Wales, England, Haiti, Jamaica, Grand Cayman, Mexico, Arizona, California, Nevada. I have driven a Nascar Race Car by myself. I have been to way too many concerts to even count. Cliff jumping, indoor skydiving, swimming with dolphins... For goodness sakes, I went to Seaworld Camp! Awards line my room for photography and journalism. My room is covered with trinkets from all over the world. Not one opportunity in my life has been turned down.

     That is what my mom wanted.

     She raised me to take advantage of those spontaneous road trips. Screw school and work. When is came to adventure, even if they were leaving in 5 minutes, she told me to hurry and pack and she would see me in a couple of days.

     The crazy canoeing trips that left us sunburnt and moments we will forever remember. The day me and Emily got our wisdom teeth out, that one is a little fuzzy. The days we would skip school to do hangout with Meghan and Derrick. The morning drive to school with Emily and my mom. Everyday was a little adventure of it's own.

     My mom supported my craziness, maybe because she was a little crazy too. She didn't want me to live a life of almosts, or should haves. It was important to her that I came home with a crazy story to tell her and a sparkle in my eye. And I don't think I have let her down!

A Woman

A woman.

A woman that is always smiling.

A woman that is always giving.

Who always tries to make everyone else happy.

She loves when she can make someone laugh through their tears. To bring a little bit of hope back into someone's life.

She is so busy worrying about everyone around her that she neglects her own life. She puts everyone else's problems before her own.

She hides her emotions from the friends that honestly want to know what is going on in her life. She doesn't want to bother them. She doesn't want to weigh them down with her own misery. So she is simply "fine."

On rare occasions she will open up. She will end with "No Worries." So no one will worry about her.

When she walks into a room, it is like the sun instantly shines upon everyone around her.

She supports everyone else in their journey while handling her own struggles.

She depends only on herself and moves forward very courageously.

She respects herself enough to know he own worth.

She works until the job is finished. No excuses. She rarely ever throws in the towel. She pushes until she is satisfied with her progress.

A woman with a beautiful soul.

A woman with everything I aspire to become.

A woman.

Sound familiar?

The Milk Myth

The glass is half empty, your stomach is entirely full, but you can still hear your parents ringing in your ear “Better finish your milk if you want strong bones.” What if I told you they were wrong.

As kids we were forced to finish our milk at the dinner table. At school a carton of milk was mandatory with lunch. That white liquid was involuntary at every breakfast outing. Why? Our parents told us it was because we were “growing boys and girls.”

Milk, endorsed by numerous athletes and celebrities in the “Got Milk?” epidemic, is said to be filled with abounding amounts of calcium, vitamins A and D, protein and other nutrients that we think are beneficial to our bodies. That’s the thing, we think. Just because we are told it has all the nutrients we could ever want, we believe it. Countless studies have said the complete opposite. One glass of milk contains foreign animal-made protein, pimple like pus cells, feces, injected antibiotics and growth hormones and an abundance of unnecessary fat, cholesterol and calories. Not what you thought?

Ready for the biggest plot twist ever? Milk does not actually make your bones stronger. Mind blown. It actually increases calcium loss in bones.

Humans are the only species that drink another species milk. Cow's milk is not designed for humans, it is designed for calves, who only drink their mother’s milk until they are about 8 months old. The same rule applies to any other mammal species. So why are we still drinking it? Imagine a cow drinking a human’s milk. Weird.

Because cow's milk is not made for humans, when we consume it, it deregulates our body’s pH. Our bodies see cow milk as a foreign invader which will cause our immune system to overreact. While fighting off this strange liquid, it actually draws calcium out of the bones it is ironically suppose to be “strengthening.”

People who are lactose intolerant are just an example of why our bodies are not designed to consume milk. They are unable to fully digest it, because they lack the enzyme to break it down.

Did you know when you drink milk you are putting the same pus cells that are in zits, in your mouth? I did. You are disgusting. There are about 1,120,000 pus or somatic cells in just in teaspoon of milk. Think about a whole glass of that nastiness.

Not only is milk not designed for our bodies. Most milk you find in grocery stores near you is not only pasteurized but also contains hormones not intended for humans. The goal of the pasteurization of milk is to kill the harmful bacteria by heating it up to boiling temperatures. Manipulating the milk this way, destroys some nutritiants and a majority of the enzymes we think we are getting. Do not even get me started on the hormones. Cows are routinely given antibiotics and injected with rBGH, a genetically engineered Bovine Growth Hormone, which is a hormone that was created to unnaturally increase milk production in a cow. By the time the milk reaches our glasses at the dinner table most hormones have been weeded out, but there are still some that slip through. By drinking milk you are consuming a hormone intended for cows, which in return messes up the hormones in a human’s body. Studies done by Harvard University have linked this hormone injection with many cancers in humans. Need I say more?

Now you are saying “What am I supposed to drink?” I am about to come in clutch. Not all milk is evil. There are many alternatives to pasteurized, hormone injected, pus filled, fake calcium milk. The most popular alternative is almond milk. It is so easy to make, you could even make it at home. Soy milk, rice milk, coconut milk and hemp milk are also good substitutes. I am not lying, to actually make your bones stronger eat spinach, kale or yogurt. They contain more calcium than milk and they are all easier to digest. Do not listen to your parents.

Next time when you throw one back and you end up with a milk mustache, think about all that calcium you did not get, those pus cells and the hormones and pasteurization particles that are sitting on your top lip. Gross.

Little Something To Take The Edge Off

     Ever since we were little kids we were asked who do you want to be when you grow up. We were forced to imagine our future and tell everyone what we thought. But the truth is we never finish creating ourselves. Every endeavor, adventure, challenge and connection we experience over the course of our life weaves another thread into the tapestry of who we are. 

     You are a masterpiece in progress.

     Don't live in fear or uncertainty. 

     Live boldly, a life where every decision you make is made with the intention of bettering yourself and expanding your perspective in some way. Challenge yourself, take risks, step out of your comfort zone.

     Remember that no matter what milestone you reach in life, you are never a finished project. The growing doesn't stop because you reached adulthood, have a career or found your life long partner. Be daring and don't look back. 

     Live with a hungry heart and curiousness can not be crushed. Expand your horizons and watch yourself grow. Love yourself before you love anyone else. Know your worth and honor it.

     Your flaws do not define you, they are just paths you haven't explored yet. 

     Remember in the pursuit of happiness, not the seizing of it. The whole had happy life means routinely finding new things to chase and become. It is to look at this world with opens eyes and see how much there is to live for.

This To Shall Pass

To be completely honest, sometimes life just sucks.

     Sometimes we don't know if we can make it through. Sometimes we don't know where we are headed or the "why" behind our circumstances. Sometimes our hearts break. Sometimes we lose people we love and our worlds are left in pieces. Sometimes we feel helpless. Sometimes we are scared. Sometimes we don't want to open our eyes when we hear that alarm clock in the morning.

     But today... I opened my eyes. I got out of bed and stepped into the wild, vicious world. Today I took a deep breath and believed I could make it through the day. And I am going to be honest, it was hard. Moving forward is hard. Growing up so fast at such a young age is hard. Being responsible for more than just myself is hard. Just being human is hard. Life is simply hard.

     My world stopped, and while I see the world continues to turn quite normally for everyone else, mine is entirely wrong. My pretty, pretty princess breakfasts are no longer a thing, the house feels empty, and instead of worrying about school, I'm worried about a death certificate or a lawyer. 

    One more struggle. One more loss. One more thing I have to carry on my shoulders. Life seems like a mess of puzzle pieces, without a picture, that doesn't seem to fit together. It is more than just "frustrating".

     

     Countless times I am reminded that I have so many people around me, that love and care about me, but it's hard not to feel alone.

     As each day passes it become less heart breaking and more bearable. And I know eventually I will be able to get through a day without tearing myself apart. I know this will pass and it all will be okay again. But that time has not come.

Sometimes life just sucks.

    

One In A Million

      My brain is filled with words to spill out into this post, but there will never be enough words in the world to describe how my heart aches at this moment in life. What once felt like a crazy dream is slowing becoming a painful reality. I miss my mom.
      Mom, you are my rock. You kept my feet on the ground and my head out of the clouds. You pushed me to do things that I really did not want to do and loved me when I failed. You were the one who believed in me, to be bigger and better every single day. You are the greatest mom anyone could ask for. You did things I only wish I had the kindness and motivation to do myself. I envied the size of your patiences and heart. You are so strong, you fought so hard this past year, every moment you were thinking about Trey and I. Life gave you hell and you turned around and gave it right back to em. I just wanted you to know that I am so thankful for all the things you did for us and the sacrifices it took for us to be so fortunate.
       You taught me so much over theses 17 years, but it was much too short. In my eyes the biggest thing you have ever taught me, was to follow my dreams, no matter what life throws at me. I had some crazy ideas growing up and you always supported me 100 percent. We both became a little crazy, doing some very strange things. You always said I could accomplish anything with a positive attitude. I don't want to brag or anything but you raised some pretty wonderful children, well I don't know about Trey too much, but I turned out great!
      Mom, you were a one in a million! The most incredible mother, wife, sister, daughter, co-worker, and friend. Nobody deserved you but you still gave us all 100 percent love and affection. I will miss you every single day of my life, but you will always be with me, I know that. I stole your t-shirts and some

cute shoes I hope that is okay!

This Was Bonnaroo

It’s dark, you are tired and all you really want to do is go to sleep. But the butterflies in your stomach disagree. You pull up to what looks like the biggest traffic jam you have ever seen but there is no complaining. Having your car searched, filing into rows and rows of people and setting up a campsite is not ideal at two in the morning. The butterflies just keep growing, so complaining is nonexistent. After everything is ready to go for the week, I stood on the top of my truck and looked out over the acres of land, that was filled to the brim with people, and I couldn’t help but think, “Man, I made it.” As I was standing there, a howl grew from one section of campsites and spread to another and then another and soon the entire 530 acres were howling like savage wolves and that was when I thought “Wow, I really did make it.”

That was it, the start of what was to be the most religiously freeing week of my life. The 2 a.m. night adventures didn’t stop after I set up camp. I walked down the roughly paved road, my mind was racing with so much excitement. I came upon a road, kind of like a mini marketplace street with a band playing on a small stage. In that moment I was mesmerized. I felt like I belonged there, like there was no other place in the world I was suppose to be, at that moment and time.

When the blazing summer sun rose that morning,The gates haven’t even opened, yet there was so much more to explore before they did. I felt like a kid seeing their first playground, and it was my playground for the week. I sat under a large tree near the gates to escape the beating sun rays. The people passing by hypnotized me. Some traveled from hundreds of miles away, other a couple hours just to be here in Manchester, Tennessee. They all came here to this small town, each with unique stories to tell and passions to express. Some were painting the walls, some just relaxing until the gates open and others dancing the the beat of their own drum. That is what I truly loved about this place.

Everyone was their self. It wasn’t a society in which you had to worry about what people thought about you. It was normal to dare to be different. It was normal to wear whatever you wanted. Even the dirtiest, muddiest, sweatiest clothes were not looked down upon. If you believed in a certain religion, or if you were gay, lesbian, transgender, or if you did a weird morning exercise it was okay to express it. People didn’t give you sideways glances, they were interested. People wanted to learn about what your beliefs were, and why you do the things you do. It was normal to be yourself. It was a world I wish I could have lived in forever. People on the farm accept people for who they are inside, and they don’t judge by the outside. It’s how it should be all the time in the real world, not just for a week.

I was standing arms length away from the biggest stage on the farm. My butterflies were growing in my stomach again and I couldn’t hide my excitement. Then the lights came on, the music started playing and Macklemore and Ryan Lewis appear on the stage. It felt like a smile was just tattooed onto my face. In that very moment I felt alive. I felt like I could do anything I have ever wanted. I didn’t feel like I had any other responsibilities except be to there in that sea of wild people and listen to the art Macklemore and Ryan Lewis made for us. When I heard everyone singing the song with them, it felt like we were all the same person. Standing in total chaos, surrounded by thousands of people, I started crying, tears of pure joy and happiness, the world stood completely and utterly still. This was where my life changed forever. This was where I understood life a little more, people a little more and music a little more. This was where I was meant to be. This was Bonnaroo.